Rule from the grave; write a will!

Today I attended an interesting breakfast meeting that focused on estate planning. This was particularly very important for me because it was something I have never set aside time to think about or even act on it and mainly because I always ask the question, what assets do I really have? Advocate Uriri, who was one of the speakers at the event asserted that Estate planning involved the acquisition, maintenance and distribution of assets. So the whole process of that is what estate planning is all about. There were testimonies that were given from women who were put in terrible situations because they (or their deceased spouse or relative) had not planned accordingly and unfortunately, planning of this nature is not as common for most people. I think this was targeted for women because more often than not were are the ones who are left in the cold and with the burden of taking care of the children as well as dealing with in-laws. Rudo Boka, who shared her interesting but inspiring story highlighted that usually the woman and children cry "Ndichachengetwa naniko" (who will take care of me) and not the men. She presented on legacy planning and gave her life experiences to show how important legacy planning is, the importance of unity in family and one point that hit home for me is that death is the most assured event that we know of in our lives but we never plan for it. We also had some legal practitioners explain some concepts and processes that helped demystify the whole issue. So I just had to share this information because sometimes ignorance can put us in unnecessarily bad situations. Do not leave things to chance when planning your estate for the sake of your spouse and children. Empower your children by telling them what is theirs while you are still alive. Sharing it with your relatives also eases the burden for your children as people usually respect the wishes of the dead, particularly in our culture. Do not let your children lose respect for you when you are gone simply because you were not organised. Think about how you want your affairs to be handled when you are gone. Understand the type of marriage you are in (civil marriage vs customary marriage: both have their advantages and disadvantages when it comes to inheritance). Make a provision for the costs of managing your estate so as not to burden those remaining. Do not leave loose ends and update your paperwork as you accumulate your estate, and from what I gathered from the stories, this seemed to be the biggest problem in issues of inheritance, where one remarries and doesn't sort out paperwork from previous marriage, so the last surviving spouse (at least the one who can prove it) is entitled to the estate, sometimes even if the will is in place. Advocate Uriri also said that if you do not plan your estate, the state has a default plan and usually this may not go in line with what you would have wanted. Of noteworthy importance was the Married persons property Act of 1928...ah if you are married,I would suggest you get a hold of this one. This act alludes to HIS, HERS AND THEIRS!!! which to an extent makes me curious about so many misconceptions I had about assets and marriage. Some wills can be nullified because of a subsequent marriage i.e. if you divorce after 40 years of marriage and remarry, and then die the next day, the last surviving spouse is entitled to your estate. Children of the deceased, whether known or unknown, for as long as they can prove the link, are entitled to the estate. I am still to research on most of these issues, but its all very interesting and we just need to manage our estates with imminent death in mind...as harsh as that sounds. But bottom line, usually the law is there to make things easier and particularly in Zimbabwe, the law seems to favour women and children most of the time...I stand corrected. So here are a few tips that the organiser of the event, Rumbi Farirai, gave us: 1. Update your paperwork. 2. Talk to your relatives with regards to what your plan is for your estate. 3. Write a will. 4. Register a trust. 5. Have insurance policies. I am a tad bit enlightened about estate planning and I am definitely going to make deliberate efforts in this regard especially for my little girl...and any other future munchkins!

Be yourself!

I met a lady at an event who had just moved back to Zimbabwe from the Uk where she had stayed for over 15 years. We got into the usual networking chat of trying to get to know each other and i was very impressed with her resume which boasted of great jobs and projects in the development sector. She was still trying to find her feet back home and even made a drastic career change citing desperate need for change and just the excitement at the possibility of doing something different. Which made me ask her blatantly : "so why did you bother coming home?" She looked at me and smiled..."I came home to be myself, just to do what you are doing!" At that moment i felt like i had been slapped on the cheeks with the very message my life has been unknowingly preaching and i guess its time i officially endorse it. I spent the greater part of my last 2 days in studio with the band Jamaram (www.jamaram.de} and one thing I love about working with these guys is the ability to have structured fun. Within the hectic schedule and the refining of our gifts, my heart continues to beat fast with excitement and I am constantly yearning to just do more. I catch myself smiling at the perfection of the moments...pure bliss. I have been blessed with an opportunity to do what I love, with who I want, where I want and when I want. I have the opportunity to look and feel a certain way without worrying about a code of conduct or a dress code per say...and the ability to be justified by the statement "...wow that's so artistic". I have the opportunity to bombard the world with my thoughts and feelings and even get paid to continuously present these to strangers, who eventually become friends. I have the ability to publicly acknowledge my flaws and mistakes and package them in a way that inspires change. I have been blessed with the opportunity to be myself!! I find this very interesting at this stage in my life because when i take a back seat and watch those that come in and out of my life, I am amazed how more and more people have no idea who they are and are wasting their precious time trying to be someone else or living someone else's dream. I can never speak for someone else because the only life i am tailored to live is mine and the only one best equipped to live that life is me and you are guaranteed that I will do that in the best way possible, by my standards!!! So live your life eeeeeeeheeeeeehee *singing Rihanna's song* We were created very different from each other for a reason.Save yourself the drama and just be yourself.

The Wilderness

I just read the story in the Bible of Jesus’ baptism by John the Baptist and then soon after He goes into the wilderness for a 40 day fast. John Maxwell comments that this experience reminds us that at least part of His preparation for ministry came from His wilderness experience, which I find very interesting. Jesus for me is the ultimate leader and one can only aspire to be just like Him. We all want to achieve success regardless of whatever field we find ourselves in and to be successful, one has to be in a leadership position at some point, so that they can truly influence their followers. So one should ask themselves what their ‘wilderness’ is. How are /have you prepared yourself for the success that is coming your way? Everyone wants success but are they truly ready for it? Do you have the blueprint in your mind to be successful and maintain it? If you don’t, then clearly this wilderness experience is necessary for you to prepare yourself. ‘Then Jesus was led up by the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil’ (Mt 4vs1). First thing to note is that He was led. Even the Son of God needed the assistance of the Holy Spirit to carry out His mandate, what more us, mere mortals? As a leader, I don’t know about you, but I believe in God and firmly believe that whatever level of success that I reach as a leader, it is meant for the glory of God. So the first port of call of my wilderness is to invoke the Holy Spirit to be a guide in all my preparation. And in all honesty, it makes things a whole lot easier. It goes on to say that Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights. TJOOO!! That’s sacrifice right there. In your wilderness, what sacrifices are you going to make to ensure that your dream becomes a reality? What associations are you going to give up and take up? What old habits are being evicted? So the devil, cunning as he is had some interesting offers for Jesus and attempted to lure Him into worshipping him. Jesus was tempted to be self sufficient by being offered bread. When you are given an offer that seems so good for your sustenance, but morally wrong, do you take it up? Jesus was offered to become a stunt man and be popular and refused to abuse his powers. Are you using your gifts for the right reasons or for personal glory? Jesus was tempted to take a short cut and be powerful. Are we willing to go the long way round when there is always a seemingly short cut? These are things that you need to consider when you are still in your wilderness so that you get your priorities straight. I like to also look at the wilderness as those times in your life when you recollect on what you have achieved and now want to take things up a notch and the key elements here are prayer, sacrifice and mastering your trade. Take some time and be in the wilderness so that you are truly prepared for success when it comes.

The Slight Edge

I just came across the cliché adage, ‘easy come easy go’ and I’m going over and over it in my mind. I never realised how true that statement is, what comes easy, goes easy! A lot of people say to me that I am a typical example of an overnight success. In other words, I sprung out of nowhere. This may seem true, but truth is nothing comes out of nowhere and that is why I need to introduce you to the Slight edge philosophy by Jeff Olson, which I have been living but never realised it and once you are conscious of it, you can make decisions regarding your time that will change your life forever. The slight edge is simply about the simple disciplines that if done consistently over time will yield the biggest accomplishments. So what you do on a daily basis, on an hourly basis have a direct impact on the outcome of your future. So what does that mean? If I slack today it will reflect tomorrow and the reverse is true. Olson also talks about how your philosophy creates your attitude, your actions, your results and therefore creates your life. So I thought to myself, What is my philosophy and how will that create my life? I also came to the realisation that success is a process not a destination. There are things that you have to do consistently in order to arrive to that destination of success, if at all it is ever there, because if you are a normal human being, nomatter how successful you may seem, you just feel you can do better, at least that’s how I feel. Napoleon Hill, in ‘Think and Grow Rich’ says “there is one quality which one must possess to win and that is the definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants and a burning desire to possess it.” Many of us underestimate the importance of a purpose but that will define your life in a big way. It will define what you are doing right now and whether you should keep doing it. It will define the friends you keep and who you associate with. It will define every intrinsic detail about your life. What is also key to Napoleon’s statement is that one must have a burning desire to fulfil that purpose!! HAAA! Do you know how painful a burn is? When you have a burning desire to do something, nothing can stop you! Do you know what you want and are you burning to win? So you have decided what you want out of life and have mapped the way forward in how to fulfil your purpose. Great, now we are moving. Harness the power of habit. Ovid says nothing is stronger than habit. Do things consistently over time to get results. If you want to lose weight, jogging once a week won’t help, but if you do it daily and over a long period of time, you yield results and keeping fit becomes a habit. Sow and act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny. Harness the power of completion. Don’t start things you don’t finish. Once you are in motion, remain in motion. There is an old Chinese proverb that says ‘be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid of standing still.’ BUT…also realise that all these can also be negative, sow bad habits reap bad results, so watch the kind of habits that you are taking up. I will conclude with some more profound knowledge that I got from this book. Your habits come from your daily activities compounded over time and your activities are a result of the choices you make in the moment. Your choices come from your habit of thought which are the product of your thinking which comes from the view you have of the world and your place in it which is…YOUR PHILOSOPHY!