Am I ready to be me?

I think God is beyond genius. When I look at some of the things that happen in my life in the way that they do, I know it is beyond my wit. Yesterday I headed back home from the studio, very inspired by the work that I had done, so inspired that I did not know what to do with that inspiration. I called up a good friend of mine and I went to see him and the first thing that he does is play me his latest offerings and I marvelled at his ability to be himself and this extended to his music and his style. And the last thing he said to me was that not everyone was going to be by my side even the closest of people, but I need to realise that it might not be them but a greater force working in them so all I need to do is “forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” So I headed back home and as if there was some divine intervention, I put on my Lauryn Hill CD, and she serenaded me as I went to sleep. I got up at 5am, and for some reason decided to listen to some more Lauryn (God bless that woman!). I have listened to this CD several times, and those that know me know that I can sing every song on every album and every time I listen to her I get a different message and it is always something to do with what I am going through or a preparation for an experience I am yet to go through. What i first picked up was passion. She highlighted that when you do what you are passionate about and what God put you on this earth for, you are praising Him in a way greater than any other way possible because that is your purpose. But sometimes we make our passion a burden because we put the wrong things around using that passion. In carrying out our passion most of us make the mistake of looking to what others are doing and emulating them, yet that is not compatible to whom we are. She (Lauryn Hill) says that our passion will not work if we are trying to compare ourselves to a standard which is not reality. We compare ourselves amongst ourselves yet the truth is You are the standard, and you should compare yourself to what you are capable of! I mean really how is it possible that an "infinite God with all this expression who created every single one of us absolutely different, ON PURPOSE, wants everyone to fit into the same suit?" We have to be ready to differentiate ourselves in our uniqueness from the rest of the crowd. One reason why it is difficult for people to be themselves is of course social “doctrine”, where the society has set standards for us and we feel we need to adhere to them and for that reason we are simply not real to each other. We have lost the concept of reality. If we could all just be open and real with each other it would save us a lot of time and effort. And after my studio experience it just makes me see this in another light. Artists break their backs and spend lots of money trying to produce just one track let alone one album, and then it seems like “they just put it together” but do we realise the time and effort put into our art, let alone our passions? Let’s give each other the real picture because all it does is help us appreciate each other even more. If i were to tell you some of the things that I have had to sacrifice (and still sacrificing) I can guarantee that you will all be lining up at each and every one of my functions to support me. REALITY is a difficult thing to deal with as reality involves truth. We cannot get the truth from the outside in but it’s from the inside out and she alludes to how society has made us believe that we need to take care of our outer self in order to be happy internally, when it’s really the other way round. She then goes on to say that she has always looked at Bob Marley and she thought if she just had the locks and the rasta look and that would be good but we all overlook that he went through struggles, trials and tribulations that made his music get to the quality that it got to and to gain the respect that it did and it takes more than just the image to make the person. So I am in a process of growth and it seems this growth is being met with resistance. Lauryn Hill says that anything that is not growing is dead, and with growth there is inevitable change. Do not hold me hostage for change in my life. I am changing because that is a natural part of life and I am letting my experiences teach me. I am finally ready to be me in spite of what anyone else will think! I am ready to be me.