I am in love

I can hear her tossing and turning after intervals and I wonder what she is dreaming about. I get taken away mentally and find myself in a trance as I am captivated by every step she takes, every move she makes and every word she speaks. And the trance is always interrupted by those words, in an undefined accent, "mummy stop looking at me like that" , and she goes on so innocently not realising how much she is central to my life and what strengths I would take to ensure she has the best, dreams the best and achieves the best.
Anesu was born prematurely at 27 weeks and I remember my gynae coming to the hospital bed and in a low voice he uttered, "I'm sorry, there is no hope for survival, its just a matter of time." Before he could even explain, tears rolled down my cheeks and that was the longest night I have ever had with the pains of childbirth being the least of my concerns. So the next morning, I went to see her, and maybe share what would be the last moments, and as I entered the nursery the paediatrician laughs at me and says she is fine, on life support as her lungs had not developed, but she will pull through. And she took it so casually that I felt stupid. My biggest lesson was that no matter how much we think we know, no matter how much we plan, God is the ultimate event planner! The next three months were the most interesting, roller coaster, exciting, tearful and loneliest months I have ever had. She moved from the nursery into ICU back to the nursery, then again to ICU, until it became just a change of venue for God to manifest his glory. I will never forget one of the many experiences I had one day when I was feeding her in the incubator ( she started drinking as little as 1ml per feed through tubes) and she suddenly stopped breathing what they call apnoea attacks, where because her lungs were not mature, and was used to me breathing for her, she would forget to breathe for herself. Can you imagine what went through my mind. I froze and the breathing notification suddenly started beeping loud and continuously. What happened thereafter was like a scene from E.R. I was pulled away in a hurry nurses ran in all directions, one calling a doctor the other opening the incubator while the other struggled to put some gloves on. She then took Anesu by the leg and hit her, she hit her again and again to sort of jump start her into breathing, by now I was hysterical. I was moved further away from the scene and was left to imagine what the outcome was going to be. Love is a beautiful thing.

At that moment I remember asking myself why I cannot breath for her. I prayed to God and asked that he take that pain she is going through and put it on me. Well He didn't, but he definitely saved Anesu and showed me how to love.
There is something divine, spiritual and even for us dreamers,magical, about the bond between mother and child, even without all the drama. When she is there, nothing else seems to matter. I have seen beauty in God's works and I see it everyday...and that beauty has just walked in and said "is it time for school, why do you keep looking at me answer me mhen!

The Gospel of profit

Imagine if we were gauged by a meter which would measure our performance at work and get paid according to that. I tell you some of us would go home without a penny, but on the other hand that would really make people work twice as hard to earn their money. The fear of not getting a paycheque is always the best motivator. I got an amazing book for my birthday by George Cloutier called "Profits aren't everything, they're the only thing" and it has opened my mind to some mistakes we make and I just had to share this gospel of profit. Cloutier has a different perspective as to why profit (or loss) is always at the bottom of the profit and loss statement. What this does is it makes us think that profit is the afterthought or the last thing after all else is done. When you see profit as the most important thing it will transform your business in an instant.

The reason why we decide to run our own businesses is because we want to make our lives better. The desire to create wealth and live a comfortable life is not a crime, its the whole point. Many owners of small to medium businesses are suffering because they are just about breaking even and are only managing to cover costs. I'm sure most of us have experienced paying everyone else in your company except yourself!! Cloutier says that should end now. Pay yourself first. You hold all the risk so you should reap the rewards. When you find yourself sacrificing your own income, there is definitely a much deeper financial problem. There are no rich martyrs! Pay yourself what you are worth. By underpaying yourself you intentionally hide major pricing flaws and other failures in operations.

A business' profit or loss is all about discipline. The hardest part of running a business, even for me is holding yourself accountable for profits and adjusting costs accordingly to maintain a targeted profit margin. So Cloutier talks about a Profit First plan where you make profits first and then pay expenses later. He says if you open a business and make 12% profits, you set aside 12c from every dollar and the remaining 88c runs the business. This seems very practical because you can regularly scrutinise and adjust costs to stay on budget. And to make more profit, you need to make more dollars, so you know the drill,more sales calls, more marketing and the works.

What I like about this Profits first plan is that you do not delude yourself into thinking all is dandy when it isn't. You also don't waste time and money on things that are not profitable. Its just a whole different mindset. Pricing your goods and services appropriately to ensure that money is being made. Its a way of approaching financial operations that makes sure that costs do not get out of control. So I am slowly taking away the things in my life and in my small business that simply don't bring any financial rewards. Simple.

So here are a few rules that I am incorporating into my daily operations:

1. Run your business by the numbers.
2. Profits and cash are the only true measure of the health of your business.
3. Do a profit and loss statement weekly.
4. Focus on cash flow and expenses.
5. If money is tight, cut costs viciously, and then cut some more.
6. Make sure profits on the book translate to cash in the bank.

Its really a simple and straightforward thing to follow,but requires a lot of discipline for its success. So I have shared this little gospel, I think it will work for me, hope it works for you!